she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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