and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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