in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
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