Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
