So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
