I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize