Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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