You made me cry and you don't even care
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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