alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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