a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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