And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
