At least make sure they are 18
Why
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
