I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
