You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
