You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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