so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
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