love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
