Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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