Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
