I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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