Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
