dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
