I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She told me I should be a condom model.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
