is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
