Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
that may or may not have been my penis.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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