Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
