About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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