you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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