brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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