Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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