can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
