I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
