Banned from zoo.
Again?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
