i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
My liver just had a heart attack.
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I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
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Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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