we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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