Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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