ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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