I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize
