no you cant smoke seaweed
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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