You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
