i jhust puked up my retainher.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
