she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
