I think im going to throw up on grandma
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
