Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize
