what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
