I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She's the barista slut.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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