Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
be right there i have to get my cape
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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