Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I love black thongs
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
