I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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