U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize