Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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