im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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