its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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