summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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