my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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