Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
