watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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