All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
