You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
