is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
she peed on how many people?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
