I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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