Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
