Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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