You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize