so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
