yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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