i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we still banned from the library?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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