hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Nicole vs. Life
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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