are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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